You really coming over, don't trick.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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