i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
