You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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