Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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