The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
