I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
