Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
