somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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