Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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