I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
