Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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