Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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