I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
