drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
