garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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