Don't make out with my wife yet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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