So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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