think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
