My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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