"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
