Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
