i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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