He asked to "fluff my boner.."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
