would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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