Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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