i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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