i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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