nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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