Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
