does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize