my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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