Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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