there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
