he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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