I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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