So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
