the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
