Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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