the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she told me i tasted like america
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
