I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
