like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
