This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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