Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
