and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
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just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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