How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
