Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
