when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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