I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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