Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
