Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
