Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
