This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
