Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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