My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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