No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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