i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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