My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
