I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
