You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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