# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
