I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
