I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
