areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
