Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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