I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm at about main and main street
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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